I’m (and they’re) back!

So its been about a year since I updated this blog. Mostly because I managed to force the squirrels out of my eaves – by destroying their nests and carefully deploying some wire mesh. But now they are BACK. I heard the scratching a couple of days ago, but I didn’t want to face the truth. I faced facts today and climbed my ladder to take a look. This is what I saw:

Joe v. A Man After His Own Heart

This man is my hero. Via John Paolozzi.

Joe v. The Future

Spring gardening is all about the future. You plant tiny little seeds in the hopes that they grow into a bountiful harvest months later. That’s the optimistic view at least.

Despite some pretty wet weather we’ve been making our preparations for the last couple of weeks. This year, I have decided to build raised beds in our old parking space in order to make room for more vegetables. It was a muddy struggle to build the first one in the rain last weekend, but I’m pretty happy with my handiwork such as it is.

The optimist in me can’t wait for all those wonderful tomatoes, cucumbers, beans, peas, etc. The pessimist in me knows that it is just a matter of time before my beautiful garden is beset by pests. I will soon be battling slugs, aphids, and various other tiny enemies, not to mention the birds, raccoons, and my nemesis the squirrel as they all feast on my hard work.

Any suggestions on how to head them off at the pass are much appreciated.

Joe v. Giant Rats

Luckily these things haven’t made it from China into my eaves… yet.

Check this out.

Joe v. What?

Despite my current obsession with squirrels (and the name of this blog) this blog is actually supposed to be about my struggles against all kinds of urban wildlife — and, indeed, all the other obstacles of life. Squirrels are just a metaphor. Get it?

Anyway, in the spirit of this diversity of purpose, I bring you a mystery. Something has been digging up the turf around the side of our house. I put this turf here last spring when I dug up part of the lawn to put in a patio and walkway. Most of the turf took really nicely and covered a patch of mostly weeds, but the grass closest to the house has not taken. Since I put it in, this turf has been turned over on a fairly regular basis. Now this could be more squirrel activity (SQUIRRELS!!) as they may be digging up nuts that they have hidden for later. Or it could be raccoons, skunks, or something else that likes eating the roots of the turf or the worms and other creepy crawlies beneath the surface. 

Here’s a picture. Let me know if you have any theories of what is causing this damage and what I can do to prevent it.

mystery pest

 

Joe v. Super Smart Squirrels

Okay, now I’m scared. Since removing the second squirrel nest  a couple of days ago, I have still been hearing the varmints running around. Today when I heard a particularly ominous scratching sound (are they going to chew their way into my attic?), I resorted to my primitive strategy number 1: I banged on the soffits with a broom handle. The banging is amplified by the the aluminum of the soffits and the hollow chamber, so it always sends the little guys scrambling away in a real hurry. This is very satisfying, despite the fact that it makes the neighbours (and my wife) doubt my sanity. 

So, curious as to why the squirrels were no longer discouraged by the ultrasonic transmitters I’d put in the eaves, I climbed up to inspect my devices. To my surprise, I discovered this!

 

Sabotage!

That’s right, the squirrels had chewed through the wire!

Joe v. Squirrel: The Return

The squirrels are back, so I have finally resorted to opening up the soffits and attacking the squirrels where they live – after all they did it to me first.

Soffit

 

I was amazed at how much crap the squirrels had managed to get up into the soffits. I have basically removed two nests so far. These are made up of fur, leaves and lots of shredded paper and plastic. My current theory is that the squirrels used these nests to insulate themselves from the sound of my ultrasonic transmitters (as well as the cold). I thought if I removed all the crap, then the squirrels would once again be unable to escape the noise.

Here’s what the nest looked like.

 

Nest

 

I got a nasty surprise in one the nests – the corpse of squirrel past almost knocked me off my ladder. Here’s what a mummified squirrel looks like:

 

Mummified squirrel

Joe v. Squirrel

I don’t like squirrels and squirrels, its seems, don’t like me. For the last couple of years we have been locked in a running battle. Unfortunately, our house is an attractive spot for these fluffy tailed rats. Unlike most of the houses on our street, we have aluminum soffits on all four sides of our roof. These essentially make an enclosed triangular space beneath the eaves that runs the entire circumference of the house. 

We’ve been fighting for a long time, but to get you up to speed, I though I’d just post a list of strategies and their decidely mixed results.

Strategy 1: The primitive approach

The first thing I tried – when I was naive – was just banging on the soffits with a broom. I figured if the squirrels didn’t feel safe, they wouldn’t stick around.

Result: No effect on the squirrels, but it drove me crazy running out on the porch with a broom to bang on the underside of the eaves. The neighbours began to suspect I was deranged. They’re wrong I tell you!

Strategy 2: Plug it up!

My next strategy was to try and stuff the holes around the soffits with wire wool (and plywood and spray foam) in order to keep them out.

Results: For a while it seemed like this worked, but the squirrels were back within a few weeks. As it turns out, the holes I was plugging were only the most convenient entrances and the squirrels could actually squeeze between the eves trough and the roof. 

Strategy 3: Psyops

Remember Waco? Apparently they used the sounds of a dentist drill and the slaughtering of rabbits to try and force David Koresh and his followers out of their compound. I thought this might work for me, so in the Fall I bought some ultrasound transmitters designed to discourage pests. These emit a highpitched sound that is barely audible to us, but apparently  really annoys squirrels and other rodents. I read a lot of online comments on these devices that basically said they are bunk – because the sound is directional, it is too easy for the squirrels (or rats) to avoid the noise by hiding behind objects or staying out of range. Although I wasn’t optimistic, I gave it a shot anyway.

Results: Surprisingly, this seemed to work… for a while. My theory was that these emitters worked in the soffits better than other applications because even though they are directional – the soffits are essentially long tubes under the eaves. I set up a transmitter at each corner of the house and given the shape of the space, there was no place for the squirrels to hide from the noise.

Unfortunately, the squirrels have recently returned. Time for a new strategy… stay tuned.

The war will be long, but the victory will be sweet.

Welcome to my blog about pest control. Its hard to know where to start. I have been living in a house for about two years now. Before that I lived in apartments and, although i had some encounters with urban wildlife back then, I did not understand the true nature of our relationship with nature. Today I understand. Two long years of struggle against the armies of ants, aphids, slugs, other bugs, not to mention mice, squirrels, raccoons, skunks, and drunks has taught me a lot. I decided it was time I shared those lessons with the world. I don’t delude myself into thinking I have won the war – every battle won is but a fleeting moment before a new front is opened – but, if my experiences can help others, then it is my pleasure to serve the greater good.